Your time in this world will be gone in the blink of an eye. If you don’t face painful truths and try to correct them, you will inevitably repeat negative patterns in the future, and you can’t afford to waste time doing that.
If you truly love and respect yourself, you’ll deal with the difficulty of being honest with yourself, even if it is painful. It also takes effort in self-care and self-love. If you must talk to someone and get some real input or perspective, have the courage to spend some time with that person and have a real conversation over coffee or lunch. If you trust yourself and the way you feel, you’ll find that the truth was always there… if you’ll be honest with yourself. It’s the only way to become truly self-sufficient. You’ll need to be willing to follow your instincts and learn to figure things out on your own without the fear of looking stupid. If you want to live a life of purpose, you’ll need to let go of your need for always wanting and needing approval.
Russ Harris explains that the way most of us go about trying to find happiness ends up making us miserable, driving the epidemics of stress, anxiety, and depression.īy clarifying your values and developing mindfulness, a technique for living fully in the present moment, helps you escape insecurity and find true satisfaction in life.
#Your fear of looking stupid how to#
None of these emotions are a healthy foundation for relationships with yourself or other people.Īnother book called The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Dr. The unhealthy need for approval and obsession with insecurity is fueled by unhealthy emotions: guilt, shame, anger, and blame. In The Wisdom of Insecurity, he shows us that in order to lead a fulfilling life, we must embrace the present and live fully in the now. Drawing from Eastern philosophy and religion, Alan Watts shows that it is only by acknowledging what we do not and cannot know that we can learn anything truly worth knowing. We are so concerned with tomorrow and yesterday that we forget to enjoy today. Spending all our time trying to anticipate and plan for the future and lamenting the past, we forget to embrace the here and now. He explains that we live in an age of unprecedented anxiety. It might have you obsessing over problems and regrets that you can’t change anymore.Īlan Watts wrote a book called The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety. It may cause you to work on projects you’re not excited about. Insecurity can rear it’s ugly head in a variety of forms. They might not want to admit it, but they also struggle with insecurity and self-doubt all the time. They also look for approval from their partners, colleagues, spouses, and leaders. Even authority figures and guardians are looking for the same thing–answers–security. You find out eventually that people are just human. It often doesn’t happen at the right times, or it doesn’t happen at all. When you really needed approval, was it always there? Not likely. No one wants to look stupid in front of authority figures or people we are trying to impress. We all wanted approval from our parents, teachers, siblings, friends, love interests, coaches, and mentors. Wanting approval comes from way back in our childhood. It goes along with trying to find answers from everyone else, and not trusting your own answers. What’s the old adage? “When you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.” He was trying to teach me to be comfortable with my own answers, and not be afraid to look stupid. He was trying to teach me critical thinking skills–to think on my own. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and look stupid.īut what I didn’t realize at the time was that he was trying to teach me a very valuable life skill. Every time I’d ask a question, he’d turn it back on me, and say “What do YOU think?” And my answer was always “Well, I don’t know what I think. I was afraid to ask questions because he would do one thing that bugged me all the time. What do I mean by that? I mean, you may be trying to align your thoughts and actions with your values, and also wanting everyone to like or respect you for saying the right things at the same time. However, you might find it challenging to be liked and trying to live within an idealistic frame of mind. I mean who doesn’t want to be accepted and feel like they belong to a group?Įven loners want to belong to a family or have at least one or two close friends to confide in when they need someone. It’s insecurity, fear of looking stupid, and being excluded from groups. It isn’t capitalism, commercialism, politics, or the government. The greatest problem that we struggle with today is not social media. When You’re Afraid To Look Stupid, You Look Stupid | Nick Lechnir
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